Modesty – so what’s the big deal?

Last Saturday I helped lead a discussion among some girls in SLCF about modesty. I was hesitant at first to even let the girls know what we would be talking about, just lure them in under the pretense of just having a brunch together, and then, once they had come, springing the topic for discussion on them so that they would have to stay under social obligation. This is such a touchy subject that most, if not all girls, myself included are very resistant to. I have heard several excuses for compromising in this area (I have actually come up with a few myself) and have come to find that being modest is truly a heart issue that is displayed in what we wear. The following are excuses for not being modest and my explanation of why they are excuses. Most of what I put down in quotes here are not said-out-loud excuses but just an idea behind not choosing to dress in a modest manner:

“If I dress modestly I will have to wear (dumpy) dresses all the time and will never look cute. I’ll have to look Amish.”

This is simply not the case. According to Nancy Leigh DeMoss “Your clothes should be tight enough to show that you’re a woman, but loose enough to show that you’re a lady!” Dressing modestly does NOT mean wearing frumpy grandma clothes, but there should be an intentional attention to what you wear as well as how you wear it. As I told the girls last Saturday: “know your body and know your clothes.” some things just don’t work.

“I don’t have to be modest. God knows my heart and that’s what counts.”

Two thoughts: 1) God does look at the heart, but man looks at the outward appearance…the only way others will know your heart is though your behavior, how you dress being part of that. 2) What kind of heart does God see? Realize that God has commanded in His word that women should dress modestly: “Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly…” (1Tim 2:9) Are you disobeying God in this area of your life?

“Guys should just learn to resist temptation and not look at girls in a lustful way.”

You should be aware of the daily battles our brothers fight everyday in order to guard their thoughts in regard to girls. We should help them in their walk by, as far as it is in our power, not dressing in a tempting way or underestimating what they go through. In 1 Corinthians Paul talks to the believers about eating meat sacrificed to idols. I think the principal can be applied to the area of modesty as well: Just don’t cause your brother to stumble.

But take care that this liberty of yours does not somehow become a stumbling block to the weak. For if someone sees you, who have knowledge, dining in an idol’s temple, will not his conscience, if he is weak, be strengthened to eat things sacrificed to idols? For through your knowledge he who is weak is ruined, the brother for whose sake Christ died. And so, by sinning against the brethren and wounding their conscience when it is weak, you sin against Christ. Therefore, if food causes my brother to stumble, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause my brother to stumble. 1 Corinthians 8:9-13

“Isn’t modesty from, like, the 18th century?”

Modesty is often viewed as old fashioned and antique. A virtue that Elizabeth Bennett might have had but nothing that is of modern relevance. The fact is now, more than ever, our culture needs more women who are willing to live above the low expectations set for them and become women of character and virtue. One of the first virtues you will acquire by dressing and acting modestly will be courage, because it is so contrary to the popular culture and you will definitely meet with opposition along the way.

“No one should tell me what I can and cannot wear! It’s my choice, actually it’s my constitutional right to wear whatever I want to!”

It is true that no person should tell you how you are to behave. But God sure can! I already pointed that He says women should dress modestly, but He also uses the authority in our lives to instruct us (parents, pastors, etc). When we receive instruction from an authority that God has placed in our lives we should obey as if God had commanded us to do it, for He has told us to obey our parents (Eph 6:1) and submit ourselves to authority (Titus 3:1). Also, we are reminded to serve others’ interests ahead of our own as Christ did. “Constitutional rights” simply dissolve when we look at the undeserved grace God has poured on us and when we look to the cross. (Phil 2:1-11; Gal 5:13 ff;)

“How will any guy notice me if I don’t dress at least just a little seductively? I’ll be single the rest of my life!!”

Honestly I think this is the one most girls struggle with…I know I did. But I had to come to realize that I need to put all my hope in God and His perfect timing when it comes to a dating relationship and marriage. I should not try to manipulate people by the way I dress. I also had to realize that I would end up attracting the wrong kind of attention from the wrong kind of men, and that the right kind of guys would in fact notice and appreciate the difference in the way I dress. I had to begin asking myself: “What kind of qualities do I want my future husband to be looking for in his future wife, and do I have those qualities?” This is where you want to set your focus. Not on your outward appearance but on your inward qualities. Here are some verses to help you think over who you are and who you want to be:

Proverbs 31:30

1 Peter 3:1-6

Galatians 5: 16-26

1 Corinthians 6:18-20 (esp. 19)

Phil 2:1-11

Do some on your own, there are countless other passages that you could go to with regard to how and why you should dress/act modestly. Hopefully you can see that modesty is not just a matter of what you wear but of your heart. Are you ready to completely surrender your life to the authority Christ? I thought I had once, but it is a daily decision, and I am one who, though I know the truth, I all too often fail to act upon it. Be encouraged that you are not alone if you choose to follow the path of modesty!

Faith

I felt a need to redeem myself after the last post. I hope you didn’t get the idea that I go around licking my elbows or that I am constantly contorting my face into shapes that only an eleven year old girl would find funny. So here is something on a more serious note.

I have been reading All of Grace by Spurgeon. An amazing little book. Anyway…here are some awesome quotes from it:

“Faith is not a blind thing, for faith begins with knowledge. It is not a speculative thing for faith believes facts of which it is sure. It is not an unpractical, dreamy thing, for faith trusts and stakes its destiny on the truth of revelation.”

“See, then, that the weakness of your faith will not destroy you. A trembling hand may receive a golden gift. The Lord’s salvation can come to us though we have only faith as a grain of mustard seed. The power lies in the grace of God and not in out faith.”

“No chain is stronger than its weakest link. If Jesus is our hope for everything except one thing, we will utterly fail because in that one point we will come to nothing.”

Lick the Elbow

It has been realized and confirmed by witnesses that one can in fact lick one’s elbow. This may be no surprise to some who have known me for many years but that “one” is really me. Here is how this amazing discovery was made:

It must have been the excitement of the weekend. The feeling you get when you walk away from your job or school knowing you won’t be back until Monday. Anyway, for whatever reason, as the Wilson family Friday night dinner of pizza ended I began entertaining Maria by making faces at her and talking to her in funny voices. When it comes right down to it I tend to be a people pleaser so the more she laughed the more faces I made and the funner it got. One thing led to another and pretty soon we were trying to touch our noses with our tongues. By this time Beth had joined the fun (she can in fact perform this feat of which I only dream) and we were all enjoying the fun and laughing at Maria’s attempts to reach her nose with her short tongue. Then I presented the challenge “Maria can you lick your elbow?” her puzzled looks demonstrated that she had no clue what I meant so I proceeded to show her. When I succeeded in this undertaking I was flabbergasted for I had been told that no one could successfully lick their own elbow.

Yup, this is about as exciting as it gets…Sorry if this turned out too long but it isn’t everyday that you get an opportunity to achieve the impossible. You really can do anything you want if you only try hard enough. So now it is your turn. Oh, how I wish I could see you as you read this blog. Believe me it is possible, try harder!